<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Heart's A Heavy Burden by Gleamblossom</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937524">A Heart's A Heavy Burden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleamblossom/pseuds/Gleamblossom'>Gleamblossom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, References to Howl's Moving Castle, jealous!Yuta, like extremely minor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:27:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleamblossom/pseuds/Gleamblossom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuta and Taeyong are just best friends with a strong foundation beneath them. Yuta would never let a little thing like Taeyong going out with someone else get the better of him. Of course not, they’re just best friends. He isn’t secretly suppressing a developing crush on his best friend of seven years. Of course not; they’re just best friends.</p><p>(AKA the jealous!Yuta fic that I unintentionally wrote because who doesn’t love a possessive Scorpio? And that's also a fic that has a lot of references to Howl’s Moving Castle)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Heart's A Heavy Burden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>🚨 DISCLAIMER: 🚨 This work is not intended to infringe upon the original work/works' copyright. This was made PURELY for entertainment purposes ONLY. All representations of the characters/people featured are not meant to reflect upon any of the Real Life people. Relationships featured are not to be reflected upon the Real Life people. To reiterate, this is for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, and just because the work features a specific relationship does NOT mean that I want the featured characters together IN REAL LIFE.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Comfort is the warmth of a fireplace on a cold winter night. Comfort is the warmth of freshly brewed tea in the evening. Comfort is the warmth of your best friend watching a Studio Ghibli movie with you in the middle of winter break because neither of you have anything better to do. Indeed, Yuta has felt nothing but comfort in his life. The sight of his best friend of seven years lazing on the other half of the couch is enough to send a warm bubble in his chest. It’s enough to bring a smile to his lips, wide and bright like the sun when it wakes up at dawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His best friend, a quiet boy named Taeyong, glances over at him, a small smile gracing his handsome face as a reaction to seeing that Yuta is smiling. One of his brows is raised questioningly. “What’s so funny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just thinking,” he answers simply. Indeed, he really was just thinking. Thinking about how cheesy and romantic this scenario would be if either of them liked each other like that. He concentrates on the image of Sophie and Howl kissing at the end of the movie, trying to imagine how kissing someone that you are absolutely enamored by would feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong hums, accepting the answer. “Me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta shoots him a glance. It’s his turn to raise a brow. “What about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong looks at his lap, folding his hands and resting them where his gaze was held. “Just some cheesy romance. That’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta laughs. “You too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just wondering what it would feel like to kiss someone that you like a lot. Like...someone you know you’re completely enamored by. Does it feel magical? Like you’re whisked off to some fantastical place where it’s just the two of you. Does it feel like heaven?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How would you know how heaven feels unless you’re dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong rolls his eyes. Yuta laughs again. “You know what I mean, Yukkuri.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta could only nod. He ignores the sudden butterflies that erupt in his tummy when he hears the nickname. Funny, he thinks, about how they’re both thinking about the same thing. “Well,” he sighs, “we’ll find out what all of that romantic shit you just said means when the time comes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong hums again. “Yeah,” he nearly whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Japanese spares him a glance. “Maybe you’re watching too much of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Howl’s Moving Castle</span>
  </em>
  <span> and fantasizing about Sophie and Howl’s relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but it’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantastic </span>
  </em>
  <span>movie, Yukkuri! You can’t argue that with me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta makes up a protest and laughs when Taeyong reacts to his argument by chucking a pillow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>🌟❤️🌟</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta remembered the homely scene like it was yesterday. That was when they were in high school, fresh into their freshman year. Now, they’re in college together, and he is completely aware of the fact that Taeyong hasn’t changed all that much. He’s still cheesy and romantic, and still goes on about various romantic scenarios in their conversations as though he were trying to hint at something to his best friend. But Yuta knows he’s only joking; they’re just friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So what he doesn’t understand is why he feels so bothered when Taeyong runs up to him like he’s just won the lottery, happily gushing about how their (admittedly attractive) classmate Jaehyun has asked him out to dinner. A smile (that Yuta will happily admit is so drop-dead beautiful) is gracing his lips, eyes shining brighter than the stars could ever hope to shine. He’s out of breath, cheeks flushed a faint pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He did it so romantically too! It was just like...he got down on one knee and pulled out this...I’ll just show you.” Taeyong pulls out a small cloth pouch, wrapped and tied like the pouch of acorns and seeds in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Totoro</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Obviously, the string had been undone because he had opened it, but when he opens the pouch in the palm of his hand, there are a handful of acorns, all of which have a word carved in them. Put together, Yuta could see that it makes up the sentence “Will you go out with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was insanely romantic. To the point where Yuta had to admit that he actually had to give Jaehyun brownie points for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it cute?!” Taeyong asks him enthusiastically. “I almost lost it in the middle of the hall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could do better,” Yuta murmured. He notices the way Taeyong looks at him, brow raised and eyes wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he dismisses quickly. He rolls his shoulders, trying to ease the tension from them. “That’s great, Taeyong. I, uh, didn’t realize that he liked those movies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said that he just watched </span>
  <em>
    <span>Totoro</span>
  </em>
  <span> recently and liked it. I was surprised too, but I’m not really complaining.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am, Yuta thinks. He isn’t going to say it to Taeyong though. It takes a bit of an awkward silence before he decides to unceremoniously change the subject. “Should we head back to the apartment?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all but walk back to their shared apartment. Taeyong is talking animatedly about how romantic Jaehyun was while Yuta could all but listen to him. Like the good best </span>
  <span>friend he is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>🌟❤️🌟</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta isn’t sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s so salty all of a sudden. They have their friends Johnny and Jaehyun over, and they’re all watching Taeyong’s favorite movie </span>
  <em>
    <span>Howl’s Moving Castle</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Yuta is sitting on the couch, attention jumping back and forth between the animation and the couple cuddled together on the floor in front of the couch. Johnny is buried too deep in popcorn and the movie to be bothered by whatever skinship the couple is doing. Yuta wished he was like that because really, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>be like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Taeyong are just great best friends. Nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta was not someone who secretly wondered how dates with Taeyong would go. He did not secretly imagine that they would hold hands or link arms and walk down the sidewalk with no care in the world. He did not secretly imagine that they would take cute, aesthetic couple selfies and photos to show the world. He definitely did not secretly imagine what it would feel like to kiss Taeyong. Absolutely not. He did not wonder how the older boy’s lips would feel on his own. Did not wonder how soft they were, how well their lips would fit together. Not at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t romantic by any means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also really wasn’t bothered by how clingy his Taeyong was to Jaehyun. He wasn’t secretly boring his gaze into Jaehyun’s (innocent) soul behind his back. He was definitely not questioning why Taeyong chose Jaehyun over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone nudges his arm and brings him back to acting like a normal person. He glances over to see Johnny’s questioning gaze. A brow raised, corner of his lip upturned questioningly. Yuta just waves it off like it was nothing, looking away from the TV and from the couple. He concentrates on the city lights outside, how the kaleidoscope of colors twinkle in his vision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he doesn’t notice is the way Johnny nudges both Jaehyun and Taeyong. He nods his head towards Yuta, who is resting his chin in the palm of his hand, lower lip jutted out when he’s pouting. The two on the floor smirk and nod at Johnny, who pauses the movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyun and I have to get going,” the eldest announces. He stretches languidly once he sets the empty bowl of popcorn on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun follows his movement. When he gets to his feet, a couple of his joints pop as he stretches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny and Jaehyun flash Taeyong a knowing smile as he gets to his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we barely got to the good part of the movie,” Taeyong whines. He works to hide his smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta does not glance at them. “What a pity,” he mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three did not anticipate his sullen answer. They share one futile glance before the eldest clears his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taeyong, mind showing us to the door?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuta,” Taeyong adds, “mind sending our friends off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta grumbles under his breath, but politely follows them to the front door of the apartment. He and Taeyong wave the two off, and he does not bring up how the couple seemed to forget to kiss each other goodbye. At least, he doesn’t bring it up until the other two have long since left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” the Japanese starts, “you and Jaehyun didn’t kiss?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I guess we forgot,” Taeyong answers innocently. At least, innocently enough. He glances at Yuta, who’s returned to his pouting position. “You didn’t seem to enjoy the movie, Yukkuri,” he whined, lips pouty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta looks over, notices the sad expression, and immediately feels guilty. He knows that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Howl’s Moving Castle </span>
  </em>
  <span>is Taeyong’s favorite Studio Ghibli movie. The mere fact that he let the couple sullen his mood and caused him to divert his attention from his best friend of seven years’ favorite movie racks him with an overwhelming amount of regret. He shouldn’t have acted that way, not to Taeyong. And with the pet name...Taeyong really does know how to make him feel bad. “Sorry, Taeyong. I wasn’t feeling too well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t me and Jaehyun, was it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta is mentally assaulted by the picture of a depressed and guilty Taeyong standing right in front of him. His eyes were downcasted, head drooping as he stared at his pink fuzzy socks. His shoulders were sagging, overall posture absolutely poor. He quickly shakes his head. “No no. It wasn’t you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Definitely not you.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“...or Jaehyun,” he adds after some hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong looks at him like he’s just been awarded all of his favorite toys from Santa Claus. “Great! I was really worried.” He looks over Yuta’s shoulder to the TV before looking back at his best friend. “Do you want to finish the movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For you, Taeyong…</span>
  </em>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>🌟❤️🌟</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A solid month had passed since Taeyong and Jaehyun were properly together. Yuta was expecting a one month anniversary celebration to take place because one month together always marked something important, right? He waited for Taeyong to make the announcement to him that they were going to host a party at the apartment. In all honesty, he’s expecting Taeyong to drop the news on him while they’re at lunch together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were sitting in a small bubble tea shop, a yogurt drink on Taeyong’s side of the table and matcha bubble tea on Yuta’s side. A small plate of takoyaki is sitting in the middle of them, nearly finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta’s in the middle of drinking while stabbing one of the balls of wheat flour when Taeyong cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some news,” the older boy says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other just nods for him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong stares at the tip of the matcha drink that Yuta just sipped into his mouth. As soon as his friend set his drink down, he said, “Jaehyun and I decided to see other people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta all but chokes on the matcha tea that’s barely finished traveling down his throat. He almost did a spit take, but wanting to respect his friend’s cleanliness...well, he feels like he’s dying by matcha tea. What a way to go. A few people glance over at the choking boy, some asking if he’s alright (to which he waves them off). Taeyong is hiding his smile behind his hand. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaehyun and I decided to see other people,” Taeyong repeats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta almost wants to jump for joy, but he remembers manners are a thing. Plus Taeyong just broke up with his boyfriend of one month. Surprisingly, he isn’t upset. Maybe he had time to mill over it? But Yuta would have known if he was upset… “I’m sorry to hear that,” he settles with saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong just shakes his head. “It’s fine. I don’t think we would have worked out that well together anyways. Opposing signs and whatnot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta nods, deciding to eat a takoyaki ball to keep from saying anything stupid like “I think that we’d work out well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit in silence for the rest of their lunch, not willing to say anything about compatible star signs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>🌟❤️🌟</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuta is pouting again. He has no reason to this time, but he’s really tired of watching his best friend go on dates and then end the relationships not too far into their relationship. The two parties seem to be relatively at ease with one another, which is something that Yuta simply can’t fathom. He’s gone out with everyone on the dance team, but the one person that Taeyong seems to fail to acknowledge that’s even on the dance team is Yuta himself. What is he missing that Taeyong doesn’t want?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that he has absolutely no reason to throw a hissy fit. Really, it would make more sense for Taeyong to be the one to act dramatic. But here he was, in their apartment at three in the morning, giving his best friend of seven years the silent treatment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had just finished watching </span>
  <em>
    <span>Howl’s Moving Castle</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the umpteenth time now, the credits rolling in the background. Taeyong had opted to sit on the floor to watch their movie since Yuta had all but stretched his lanky legs on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuta, why are you ignoring me? You always talk to me when we watch Howl’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta cocks a brow. He’s ignoring Taeyong? Yeah, he...he was. But he had a perfectly good reason to. He continued to ignore him again, eyes glued to the endless line of white text on a black backdrop rolling up to the top of the TV.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong pouts, climbing onto his knees. “Yu~ta,” he sings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta remains vigilant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yukkuri~?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta’s guard drops, but he still has his arms crossed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong leans up, moving until his face is mere centimeters from Yuta’s own. He cups the younger’s cheeks, closes his eyes, and presses a chaste kiss onto the other’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta finally focuses his gaze onto Taeyong’s face. He’s smiling; it’s a small, shy smile but a smile regardless. His expression is so soft, so endearing. And he giggles, like an anime schoolgirl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s like the quick kiss that Sophie has with Howl, Yuta,” he whispers. “Except you aren’t covered in feathers like he was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta rolls his eyes and moves his hands to hold the ones cupping his face. He’s smiling, just like Taeyong. “If only we were standing on a balcony on a flying castle, then we could have a romantic kiss like they did as they flew above the clouds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Romantic, Yuta,” Taeyong laughs. “Absolutely romantic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta’s smile fades as he stares into the deep brown ocean of Taeyong’s eyes. They look just like starlight, they’re beautiful. “How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have I wanted to kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Japanese boy nods slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since high school, when we were on the couch watching Howl’s. Hell, even before then. That moment, the minute we talked about how we were both curious to kiss someone that we were absolutely enamored by, I knew I wanted to do something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does this mean...what about Jaehyun? And all of your other dates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Staged,” Taeyong sighs. His innocent smile is replaced with a mischievous smirk. Yuta could kill him then, but he sure as hell isn’t going to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you for playing with my heart like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right. I don’t. But I sure as hell wished you asked me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll say the words?” Yuta raises a brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong just laughs, and kisses him properly. It’s a slow kiss. Slow and lazy, both of their lips slack. But even then, there’s so much passion in the motion, and all Yuta could say is that it feels like it is so much more than magical. The term “heavenly” couldn’t even describe how amazing and wonderful this feels. It’s so easy for Yuta to get lost in the taste of  Taeyong’s lips (likely a result of his strawberry chapstick), easy for him to be so caught up in the gentle pressure that is repeatedly pressed against his own lips. When their lips are finally plied apart, he misses the sensation so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this heavy feeling in my chest?” Yuta murmurs lightheartedly. The corners of his lips turn up into a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taeyong rolls his eyes and returns the smile. “A heart’s a heavy burden.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>🌟❤️🌟</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Comfort is the warmth of a fireplace on a cold winter night. Comfort is the warmth of freshly brewed tea in the evening. Comfort is the warmth of your best friend watching </span>
  <em>
    <span>Howl’s Moving Castle</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you in the middle of winter break because neither of you have anything better to do. Indeed, Yuta has always felt comfort in his life. The sight and feeling of his best friend of seven years pressed against him on the couch is enough to send a warm bubble in his chest. It’s enough to bring a smile to his lips, wide and bright like the sun when it wakes up at dawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His best friend and his boyfriend, Lee Taeyong, glances up at him, a generous smile gracing his handsome face. “What’s so funny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just thinking,” he answers. His hand is pushing the older boy’s bangs from his eyes before it moves to cup his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” the other replies back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How lucky I am to be with my best friend of seven years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuta raises his brow. “Just your best friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My best friend, my boyfriend…” Taeyong laughs. “...my Howl to my Sophie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Yuta’s turn to laugh. He has absolutely nothing to retort back and instead resorts to kissing Taeyong’s cute lips. Bless his boyfriend for making him so surreptitiously enamored with him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had a great wild ride writing this. Originally, I wasn’t going to add all of the Howl’s Moving Castle tidbits to the fic (it was just going to be a gushing jealous fic hahaha). But I read somewhere that Taeyong’s a fan of Howl’s Moving Castle, and when I found that out, I was like, “I gotta use this info for something, holy hell.” And I'm absolute YuTae trash, so...hence this little idea!</p><p>It’s my first proper NCT fic (at least the first I’m posting), so the portrayals maybe aren’t 1000% accurate. But I wanted to share this regardless. Thank you for reading! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>